What is attachment parenting? Attachment parenting is a parenting philosophy that focuses on responding to your baby’s cues and nurturing the connection and relationship you have with your children that starts at birth. (P.S. don’t forget to check out the ONLY attachment-focused online breastfeeding course on the market at the end of this post)!
Why You Should Practice Attachment Parenting
Attachment parenting aims to raise a secure, independent, and healthy child. We finally have evidence that shows how pushing independence on babies and children actually leads them to be more insecure and less able to have healthy attached relationships in the future.
Things like ‘cry it out’ and repeatedly not responding to your baby can lead to increased cortisol leading to cells shrinking in the hippocampus, which is the part of the brain involved in learning and memory, and even neural death [1-3].
Furthermore, attachment parenting practices decrease the risks of breastfeeding issues such as clogged ducts, mastitis, and low milk supply, increasing exclusive breastfeeding rates [25].
(Keep reading to learn even more benefits of attachment parenting! Number 4 will definitely surprise you).
The 7 Bs of Attachment Parenting
The 7 Bs of attachment parenting are tools (not rules!) for successfully practicing attachment parenting.
1. Birth Bonding
It’s ok if you don’t feel bonded to your baby when you give birth. Nothing is wrong with you if you don’t. Nevertheless, bonding should begin during pregnancy as some ways to do this include sitting and meditating with baby, prenatal yoga, kick counting, mindful exercise during pregnancy, positive pregnancy affirmations, and more!
Bonding with your baby throughout pregnancy will make it second nature to tune into your baby and body throughout labor.
Immediately after giving birth, attachment parenting and bonding looks like skin-to-skin for at least an hour straight. Even newborn exams and even neonatal resuscitation should be done skin-to-skin as the benefits of skin-to-skin include:
- Keeping baby warm. When your baby is skin-to-skin on your chest, exactly where they are on your body rises in temperature to keep your baby warm. Plus, skin-to-skin has been proven to work better than baby warmers in the hospital [4-6].
- Stable respiration for baby. Studies have found a four-fold decrease in apnea [7].
- More regular heart rate [8].
- Doubled rates of successful breastfeeding [9].
- Enhanced neurological development [10].
- And so much more!
However, if your baby needs to be taken away for more intensive medical support, your baby’s health and safety always come first.
Additionally, attachment parenting after birth looks like learning your baby’s cues, responsive feeding and parenting, more skin-to-skin with both parents as this shouldn’t be limited to only immediately following birth, and everything else listed below, so let’s move forward!
2. Breastfeeding and Attachment Parenting
Your baby’s anatomy and physiology are perfectly designed and optimized for breastfeeding. While breastfeeding you’re holding your baby, babywearing, and/or skin-to-skin. Additionally, looking into your baby’s eyes makes this experience extra connecting.
Researcher Mobbs talks about ‘imprinting’ which is defined as “the behavioral process that takes place in a sensitive period in the early hours of life during which the baby’s evolutionary biology enables it to orally fixate to a stimulus feature, normally the mother’s nipple and learn its tactile characteristics. This is the first step in attachment and the central focus of the human evolution of our species.” [11]
3. Babywearing
Babywearing can make your life so much easier as your baby only feels safe when touching you for many months after birth. By using a wrap, baby carrier, or sling, you can free both hands while connecting to your baby.
Research has found:
- Parents who practice babywearing are more responsive to their baby’s needs. Therefore, babywearing promotes attachment and bonding [12].
- Mothers are more likely to breastfeed and breastfeed for longer [13, 14].
- Babies cry less and are calmer while babywearing [15]. In most cultures, where babies are held almost constantly, they are typically in a quiet alert state and rarely cry for more than brief periods.
- Babywearing can reduce reflux symptoms due to the upright positioning [16]
- Babywearing eases baby’s transition from womb to world [17]
- Carrying our babies is biologically normal. We are not naturally nesters like birds, but that is what we mimic when we use bassinets, swings, and strollers [18].
- Babywearing saves you energy compared to in-arm carrying [19]
- Wearing your baby supports physical growth in preterm infants [20]
- Babywearing may increase mothers’ parental confidence [21]
More benefits of babywearing include that:
- It’s easy to nurse your baby comfortably while babywearing
- Twins can be worn in slings or wraps too! You may wear one on each hip or one on the front and one on your back.
4. Bedding Close to the Baby
In attachment parenting, we acknowledge the evidence that proves our babies being close to us while sleeping is the safest for them.
Research has found that the benefits of co-sleeping include:
- Regulated temperature and breathing for baby [22,23]
- Provides parents and babies with better sleep [24]
- Increased rates of exclusive breastfeeding [25]
- Reduced risk of supply issues [26]
One study found that mothers and infants who co-slept in a way that facilitated mother-infant access found greater successful sucking compared to babies who were in the standalone bassinet group [26]. Upon follow-up with the same mothers, it was found that these effects of co-sleeping continued at 16 weeks, with twice as many mothers co-sleeping both breastfeeding and exclusively breastfeeding [27].
Furthermore, stimulation of the nipple is necessary for the production of prolactin. A hormone that allows for milk production. At night is when the levels of prolactin in mothers are highest therefore, it’s important to nurse overnight for positive effects on milk production and maintenance of a mother’s milk supply [28]. Basically, by bedsharing, you reduce the chances of having milk supply issues.
For so much more about bedsharing and co-sleeping and the truth about its safety, check out: The Truth About Breastfeeding and Bedsharing.
5. Belief in Baby’s Cries
Your baby’s cries are always real. Even when they grow into toddlers and they “fake cry,” these cries are still real because they’re trying to express their feelings and are still learning how to communicate them in words.
Communication takes a long time to really get the hang of, and I don’t know about you, but I’m still working on improving my communication skills!
Even if your baby doesn’t really need anything, their cries are real, and we should respond to them with love and comfort because that is what they need if other things are met, like being fed and changed.
6. Balance and Boundaries
To practice attachment parenting, you must nurture yourself. Enforce boundaries to ensure you are happy and filling your cup as a positive and connected parent. And if this means dropping something considered an “attachment parenting practice,” that is completely ok! Check in with yourself and ensure you’re doing what needs to be done for your health, physically and emotionally.
If your cup isn’t full, then you’ll run out of love to pour into your family. You deserve the love and grace you give to your baby, mama.
7. Beware of Baby Trainers
Many (but not all) baby trainers, including baby sleep “specialists,” in some way promote distancing your relationship with your baby and even accidentally giving bad advice that can harm your breastfeeding relationship.
Always Ignore advice that strays from responding to your baby and counters your parental intuition.
Are you pregnant or breastfeeding your new baby? Check out the ONLY attachment-focused breastfeeding course on the market! With 18 chapters and 280 minutes of video education, and 160 easy-to-follow PDF pages that you get to keep and look back on forever, The Balanced Breastfeeding Course is a must-have for parents who are paving a new way in their family and are determined to reach their breastfeeding goals. For more information, click learn more.
Sources:
[1] https://news.stanford.edu/news/2007/march7/sapolskysr-030707.html
[2] https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.273.5276.749
[3] Abrahám IM, Meerlo P, Luiten PG. Concentration dependent actions of glucocorticoids on neuronal viability and survival. Dose Response. 2006 Jun 20;4(1):38-54. doi: 10.2203/dose-response.004.01.004.Abraham. PMID: 18648635; PMCID: PMC2477654.
[4] R. A. Kambarami, O. Chidede & D. T. Kowo (1998) Kangaroo care versus incubator care in the management of well preterm infants—a pilot study, Annals of Tropical Paediatrics, 18:2, 81-86, DOI: 10.1080/02724936.1998.11747932
[5] Ludington-Hoe SM, Anderson GC, Swinth JY, Thompson C, Hadeed AJ. Randomized controlled trial of kangaroo care: cardiorespiratory and thermal effects on healthy preterm infants. Neonatal Netw. 2004 May-Jun;23(3):39-48. doi: 10.1891/0730-0832.23.3.39. PMID: 15182119.
[6] Arleen Cornell Mellien, RNC, MS. Incubators Versus Mothers’ Arms: Body Temperature Conservation in Very-Low-Birth-Weight Premature Infants. Jounral of Obstetric, Gynecologic, & Neonatal Nursing. Volume 30, Issue 2, P157-164, March 01, 2001. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1552-6909.2001.tb01531.x
[7] Cleary GM, Spinner SS, Gibson E, Greenspan JS. Skin-to-skin parental contact with fragile preterm infants. J Am Osteopath Assoc. 1997 Aug;97(8):457-60. doi: 10.7556/jaoa.1997.97.8.457. PMID: 9284613.
[8] Aucott S, Donohue PK, Atkins E, Allen MC. Neurodevelopmental care in the NICU. Ment Retard Dev Disabil Res Rev. 2002;8(4):298-308. doi: 10.1002/mrdd.10040. PMID: 12454906.
[9] Moore ER, Bergman N, Anderson GC, Medley N. Early skin‐to‐skin contact for mothers and their healthy newborn infants. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2016, Issue 11. Art. No.: CD003519. DOI: 10.1002/14651858.CD003519.pub4. Accessed 27 February 2022.
[10 Ferber SG, Makhoul IR. The effect of skin-to-skin contact (kangaroo care) shortly after birth on the neurobehavioral responses of the term newborn: a randomized, controlled trial. Pediatrics. 2004 Apr;113(4):858-65. doi: 10.1542/peds.113.4.858. PMID: 15060238.
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[11] Mobbs EJ, Mobbs GA, Mobbs AE. Imprinting, latchment and displacement: a mini review of early instinctual behaviour in newborn infants influencing breastfeeding success. Acta Paediatr. 2016;105(1):24-30. doi:10.1111/apa.13034
[12] Anisfeld E, Casper V, Nozyce M, Cunningham N. Does infant carrying promote attachment? An experimental study of the effects of increased physical contact on the development of attachment. Child Dev. 1990 Oct;61(5):1617-27. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-8624.1990.tb02888.x. PMID: 2245751.
[13] Little EE, Legare CH, Carver LJ. Culture, carrying, and communication: Beliefs and behavior associated with babywearing. Infant Behav Dev. 2019 Nov;57:101320. doi: 10.1016/j.infbeh.2019.04.002. Epub 2019 May 16. PMID: 31103747.
[14] Pisacane A, Continisio P, Filosa C, Tagliamonte V, Continisio GI. Use of baby carriers to increase breastfeeding duration among term infants: the effects of an educational intervention in Italy. Acta Paediatr. 2012 Oct;101(10):e434-8. doi: 10.1111/j.1651-2227.2012.02758.x. Epub 2012 Jul 16. PMID: 22734604.
[15] Hunziker UA, Barr RG. Increased carrying reduces infant crying: a randomized controlled trial. Pediatrics. 1986 May;77(5):641-8. PMID: 3517799.
[16] Jung WJ, Yang HJ, Min TK, Jeon YH, Lee HW, Lee JS, Pyun BY. The efficacy of the upright position on gastro-esophageal reflux and reflux-related respiratory symptoms in infants with chronic respiratory symptoms. Allergy Asthma Immunol Res. 2012 Jan;4(1):17-23. doi: 10.4168/aair.2012.4.1.17. Epub 2011 Nov 11. PMID: 22211166; PMCID: PMC3242055.
[17] Gatts J D, “Infant environmental transition system and method”, US Patent, US5385153A
[18] Lozoff B, Brittenham G. Infant care: cache or carry. J Pediatr. 1979 Sep;95(3):478-83. doi: 10.1016/s0022-3476(79)80540-5. PMID: 381622.
[19] Wall-Scheffler CM, Geiger K, Steudel-Numbers KL. Infant carrying: the role of increased locomotory costs in early tool development. Am J Phys Anthropol. 2007 Jun;133(2):841-6. doi: 10.1002/ajpa.20603. PMID: 17427923.
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[20] Gathwala G, Singh B, Singh J. Effect of Kangaroo Mother Care on physical growth, breastfeeding and its acceptability. Trop Doct. 2010 Oct;40(4):199-202. doi: 10.1258/td.2010.090513. Epub 2010 Jul 28. PMID: 20667921.
[21] Tessier R, Cristo M, Velez S, Giron M, de Calume ZF, Ruiz-Palaez JG, Charpak Y, Charpak N. Kangaroo mother care and the bonding hypothesis. Pediatrics. 1998 Aug;102(2):e17. doi: 10.1542/peds.102.2.e17. PMID: 9685462.
[22] “New” practice of bedsharing and risk of SIDS
[23] McKenna JJ, McDade T. Why babies should never sleep alone: a review of the co-sleeping controversy in relation to SIDS, bedsharing and breast feeding. Paediatr Respir Rev. 2005 Jun;6(2):134-52. doi: 10.1016/j.prrv.2005.03.006. PMID: 15911459.
[25] Neville MC, Morton J, Umemura S. Lactogenesis. The transition from pregnancy to lactation. Pediatr Clin North Am. 2001 Feb;48(1):35-52. doi: 10.1016/s0031-3955(05)70284-4. PMID: 11236732.
[26] Blair PS, Ball HL. The prevalence and characteristics associated with parent-infant bed-sharing in England. Arch Dis Child. 2004 Dec;89(12):1106-10. doi: 10.1136/adc.2003.038067. PMID: 15557042; PMCID: PMC1719770.
[27] Breastfeeding and mother-infant sleep proximity: implications for infant care.
[28] Bed sharing on the postnatal ward : breastfeeding and infant sleep safety.
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