Becoming a midwife has not been an easy choice. Now, starting midwifery school has come with some fears too, such as balance of work and family.
I have known for a while that I wanted to be a midwife so badly, but I kept trying to avoid it and find other ways to fulfill myself through education and career plans alongside my blog and online presence.
Why Did I Try to Avoid Becoming a Midwife?
Before Keagan turned 5, and before deciding which type of midwife I want to become, I was struggling with fears about becoming a suddenly distracted and disconnected mother. Since finding out that becoming a Certified Professional Midwife is for me, rather than a Nurse-Midwife, possibly, in addition to Keagan getting a little older, these fears have gotten much better.
Still, every time I found another plan that I liked or even loved, it just didn’t compare to becoming a midwife. Becoming a midwife feels like a part of me as a whole person, including as a mother. It truly is a calling.
I recognized I was avoiding becoming a midwife not because I didn’t want to be one, but because I was scared of the process of becoming one. So, I turned around and stuck with it because I know I shouldn’t avoid doing things I’m passionate about, out of fear.
My Fears Starting Midwifery School
I’m starting midwifery school this year and I’m very excited yet very emotional at the same time.
I’m trying to remind myself, it’s not that different than going to nursing school for a couple of years M-F school and clinic hours. The only difference is that some of my clinic hours are on-call for women going into labor.
(P.S., I’ve put these in number order from my biggest fears to smallest.)
1. not homeschooling my daughter anymore
Now that Keagan is 5 and we have moved in a neighborhood where she has several friends around her age, we decided to have her try school in case she would enjoy that more at this young age, compared to dealing with my increasingly busy schedule as a student midwife.
Additionally, I have felt more comfortable knowing that the school we chose is above-average when it comes to providing resources for the children, building safety, and has a lot of parent funding and donations which we can see are going to all of the best things they could be for a school.
While I’m glad that Keagan will get to at least try school to know what it’s like to give her an informed choice (there’s the birth worker coming out of me!), of course I’m sad about the temporary loss of educating her at home.
I love homeschooling so much and I love being with Keagan so much. However, if she doesn’t like school, we’re not going to force her to do it and I will continue homeschool with a curriculum and a child-led approach.
Further, if she changes her mind to try it again before I’m done with midwifery, then we will, of course, support that.
Check out: Certified Professional Midwife: Why I Chose to Become a CPM Instead of a CNM.
2. Not being around as much
Not being around as much and missing some fun moments and substantial talks with Keagan is something I accepted with going into midwifery school.
I know this will be a change for me. But again, before she turned 5, I didn’t feel ready for that. However, now with how she has grown, I’m okay with her sharing those things with only Derrick or only my mom when they happen.
Keagan and I have a very secure relationship because of me always being there for years. I can tell now that there’s no harm in her having educational experiences with others and personal connections with others when I’m not around almost all of the time like I am now.
If I wasn’t starting midwifery school and having Keagan try school, this would be the age I would look for a small homeschool co-op to really get to know each other and hopefully, one day, have educational sessions where the kids in the co-op would take turns going to another family’s house and learn from them and how they do things!
Of course, we would ensure our families have a similar basis and this would only involve 2-3 families total. Nevertheless, these experiences outside of my constant presence are great for her individual growth and this approach aligns more with having less time away than how “regular” school sets their schedule up. So, this will hopefully be something we set up one day!
3. My relationship
I don’t worry about this too much because Derrick is so helpful and supportive of me becoming a midwife. But this is a big change to out current lifestyle and we will have a less open-ended time together.
I know we’ll have time to do family things each week to sit and be together. Still, it’s a change!
4. Communicating with my preceptors
This is yet another change that has evolved from a worry to a “noted importance.”
Communicating with your preceptors is really important for building a respectful relationship with them and avoiding misunderstandings.
Home birth midwifery is a very demanding job and over the last couple of years, while considering this career, I’ve gathered different stories from student midwives with preceptors.
I’m sure I’ve only heard some of the bad ones because that’s of course more entertaining to speak about or make a public notes on while looking back, compared to the good experiences they may have had with other preceptors. Therefore, I’m not giving these stories too much weight.
Still, I’m taking the negative stories into account to ensure I communicate my needs and listen to my preceptors needs for each semester to ensure I’m meeting all of my clinical requirements while having time for the school work I need to do at home to become a Certified Professional Midwife and Licensed Midwife.
Advice to Myself on How to Keep Our Relationship Healthy and Great
Ways that I know midwifery school will not damage my relationship with Keagan:
- She is 5 with a secure attachment, excellent communicator, and loves the alone time she gets with her dad
- I’m going to take pictures and tell stories about what I did at work. I have heard that giving details about the babies often helps children connect to their midwife mama’s job. I.e., how much the baby weighed, born in water or on the bed, etc.
- I’m going to keep a positive attitude. Everything she is doing is great and everything that I am doing is great, too.
- When I’m done with clinic/school work, we will have time together. This time, spending hours before bedtime (unless I’m called to a birth) will be intentional, slow, and filled with positivity, patience, and love.
- I will let her sleep and cuddle in bed with me a lot. Even when I get home from a birth, I can come sleep with her or bring her into my bed with me before we might have time away from each other again.
- I will make time and space for her talk about anything she wants so that I can best know what’s going on with her schooling and feelings. Derrick does the same too, so that is extremely helpful.
- I will share with my children what becoming a midwife means to me and why I am doing it in a letter that they can read when they’re older. This will help Keagan and our future children understand why it’s so important and what it’s like from my perspective.
Conclusion on My Fears Starting Midwifery School
I’m going to learn so much as a student midwife.
Beyond research and didactics, I will connect with women, share my confidence and calm with the room, tread lightly, ask permission, relax my jaw, and prove patience to be my greatest skill guided by the invaluable wisdom I learn, becoming a home birth midwife.
Questions or Comments on “Becoming a Midwife: My Fears Starting Midwifery School”
If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below👇🏻
Talk soon, mama!
– Katelyn Lauren
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